Meow House Theatre

I had a coupon for a free any-kind-of-coffee at Peets so I went up there and got a frozen mocha-chocolate thingy, which was the most enormous coffee I’ve ever seen. I couldn’t finish it, so you know it must have been big. I also felt bad for making them make this ginormous drink for free, so I tipped them a dollar (which I never do at those kinds of places–I save my tips for actual servers) and I bought a candy bar they had out on the counter. Imagine my surprise when they told me it was $3.25. That must be one helluva chocolate, right? So I got one:

It says “artisanal chocolate” on the label. Like fine cheese does. Well, it was okay but it wasn’t worth $3.25. I mean, it was quite good … but was it incrementally worth more than $2.00 more than a Dove chocolate bar? It was not. Did I like it $3.25 worth? I did not. Next time I’ll be sure to make sure how much it costs before committing. Goodbye, $3.25 that I could have used on something else. Le sigh.

In other news, I have been asked to write a key address for a major corporation’s annual conference next spring. It’s supposed to be something funny. The guy who will be speaking has a great delivery and I am really looking forward to working on it. He has an idea of what he wants already: something funny based on this company’s “corporate-speak”: IBM was notorious for its “IBM-Speak”; Bell for its “Bell-Speak,” and this company is apparently heading that way. The last board book had five pages, single-spaced, of acronyms that everyone is supposed to know, but considering that half the corporation and its partners are from non-English-speaking countries, it makes it rather difficult. So I will be writing something hopefully hilarious about that and if I’m lucky it will be picked up, at least for a few minutes, by the cable news networks. (CNN, Fox, MSNBC, and C-SPAN always broadcast parts of this conference, so it’s not impossible that they’d pick up this segment.) Not that anyone watching would know that it was mine, but I’d know. That, unfortunately, is the downside to doing speeches: everyone thinks the guy talking actually wrote it. That’s not usually how it works. Le sigh, encore.